Here we go again, The second part of our first guest written post, sit and enjoy our increasingly hospitalble French friends!!

Part 2 – The Difficult Bit!

……In the meantime I went back with my truck folder which had the VOSA measurements for the trailer in it, and presented this to the clerk. He refused to acknowledge this, and got quite irate. He told me to speak French or Italian, or not at all! Luckily the next truck in the queue (which had now stopped as the tunnel was closed – broken down truck stuck in it!) was from a rival racing team, and he spoke Italian. The kind gent liaised between myself and the very upset clerk, and even though he would not accept that the truck normally travels through the tunnel, did point out the one place he said it was too wide. It looked like something was sticking out through the sheet. Then my backup arrived, on masse! With the lead driver were two other drivers, and one of them was the mechanic for the group. The lead driver immediately shook the clerks hand, which caught him off guard, why didn’t I think of trying to charm him? They then set about climbing inside the trailer via a gap in the sheet at the back, and I could hear ratcheting noises going on, and the protruding piece of sheet shrank back into profile. I cheerfully went to fetch the clerk, convinced they had done it, he took one look and said ‘Non’! When the lead driver tried to ask him why, he just turned and walked off. Well, he wasn’t getting away with being rude (didn’t he know who we were!), so my lead driver collared him and asked him to explain himself, and not to be rude. He told me to go to the top, and it the tunnel control say yes, then it’s ok, but he was saying a firm no. I had two options. Either turn around and head for the Frejus Tunnel, and not make it into Italy tonight, or go to the top and see what they said. As the drivers near the top were telling me on the radio they were still queuing, I decided to chance the tunnel control guys quickly getting rid of me as they had a backlog to clear, so off up the mountain I set.

The drive up to Mont Blanc is steep and twisty, I really do prefer the Frejus! Around one of the bends about halfway up I found the back of the queue. People were out of their cars stretching their legs and taking photos of the mountain, so I joined them. After about half an hour worth of hill starts I reached the top, passed through the heat detector with no problems and parked by the fridges waiting for escort. I spotted one of the tunnel control guys, and asked him to measure the trailer. ‘2.70m, exceptionnel’ he announced, ‘escort at 22:00’ he added. ‘What? So it’s grown since the bottom of the mountain, and so has the escort time?’. Remaining as calm as I could I asked to to point out where it was too wide, and he pointed to a totally different spot! He told me if I could pull the load in a bit he would let me through, but there was a chance an oncoming truck would hit the bit that was sticking out! I nearly responded with the fact that my mirrors stuck out more than the load, but instead radioed back to the trucks at the bottom, and got into the trailer to see if I could see anything that could be adjusted. Near the front of the trailer, one of the floor sections looked like it extended out sideways, and had not been closed up properly, and it was secured around the rest of the floor section with a ratchet strap, so there was hope. I spent about 45 minutes sweating inside the trailer but could not tighten the strap on my own, I needed to wait for the others. When they arrived they promptly jumped in to help, and again managed to pull the load inwards. I confidently went to find the controller, and a team of blokes with measuring sticks descended on the truck, and announced ‘Non exceptionnel, escort midnight’! While I was taking this information in and trying to see why it was still not good enough, the measuring team visited one of the other trucks that had stopped to help me, the lead driver’s. They measured it and announced ‘exceptionnel’! We were stunned. The lead driver explained that not only have the trucks been using the tunnel for four years, one identical to his had gone through an hour previously. ‘No it hasn’t, it isn’t possible’ was the reply! They also couldn’t explain why the electronic measuring system at the bottom had given them clearance while their hand measurement had deemed the trailers too wide. We got nowhere arguing, so decided to try and find a hotel in France and use the Frejus tunnel in the morning. When we mentioned the fact were weren’t going to wait until midnight, when we were first told 17:00, a man went running off and came back and proudly announced they would fit us in at 22:00, gee thanks! We managed to book a hotel in Chambery, and bidding farewell to our comrades with ‘normal width’ trucks we started back down the mountain.

The road back down is steep and twisty too, and you hug the mountain wall in places, and so are limited to around 70kmh most of the way. The retarder on the Mercedes is excellent and I hardly touched the brakes all the way down. The speed limit and obvious danger of the road didn’t stop a Bulgarian Volvo FH from blasting past us in a particularly twisty section. Moments later as we rounded another bend the lead driver shouted on the radio to watch for the Bulgarian, as he was trying to reverse up the motorway. I rounded the bend to find his cab slewing into the offside lane as he tried to correct his direction. Luckily the car that was overtaking me cleared me in time for me to switch lanes and avoid him, and the Dutch tanker behind me that had been itching to get past managed to stop. It appeared he was trying to reverse back to a small service station we had gone past on a previous bend-utter madness. I managed to give a ‘blast’ on the pathetic Mercedes horn and show him exactly what I thought of him with a coffee advert hand gesture as my cab went past his! We found the hotel in Chambery easily in a business park, and with no available parking stopped on the pavement opposite. After a great meal in meat grill restaurant on the estate we decided on a 4am start and hit the sack.

Friday morning was decidedly dark at 4am, but was a barmy 22 degrees! We reached the Frejus within an hour, climbed the gentle gradient, went straight to the empty booths and with no hassle at all transited the tunnel. At the bottom of the hill near Susa we stopped to fit the Convoi Exceptionnel equipment.

Two more flashing lights on the roof (one was already fitted on the rear) and boards back and front made me legal for Italy. We had a 45 minute break at Novara, filled with diesel and shortly arrived on the outskirts of Milan. Following the lead driver off the motorway I was amazed that with only a week to go there were no signs directing people to the Monza circuit, and I would have had trouble had I been on my own as even the village of Monza wasn’t signed until you were very near it. The circuit is within a public park area, and several large speed humps slowed us while we raised the air suspension on the low ride tractors to stop them grounding.

When we reached the paddock area the rest of the lads had arrived and were stuck into washing the first of the trucks. It was only 9am but as a hot day had been forecast they were trying to get them done before it got too hot. The paddock area our trucks were in was full of gleaming Ferrari trucks……

…….and a few smaller teams that were already cleaned and parked up. The other paddock area nearby was a hive of activity and had all the race team trucks in being washed down. We parked our two trucks to one side, as they were too hot to wash (there is a real science to the race teams wash procedures) and joined the others in hand washing the fleet. Working in two teams they are hosed down, scrubbed with shampoo on telescopic brushes, rinsed off then dried with telescopic squeegee’s and chamois cloths so no water marks are left. The time consuming cleaning shows fantastic results. There are no scratch marks from truck wash brushes, no faded paint from power washes and chemicals, they are immaculate, chassis included, and trailers too. It was hard work though, and after a quick lunch break at the circuit cafe, we sweated in the 30 degree heat and had them all done and parked up around 4pm. I had to take all the Convoi Exceptionnel gear off the truck, not good for the image you know! A final job was to unscrew all the Mercedes star grill logos and put them in the cab. Apparently as the parking areas are in a public park race fans have been known to steal them from the truck as a momento! Then it was off to the hotel in Milan for a wash, out for pizza, and then an early night. I was ribbed by some of the others for not staying out later, but as I pointed out some of us had got up at 3am and done a ‘days’ driving to get there while they were snoring in their beds! We had an early flight home the next day, and that really was the end of my season. The full time lads had a week at home, then were back out to Milan to bring the trucks home after the final race of the European calendar. It had been a frustrating trip at times, but I had enjoyed every minute of it. It sure beats sitting on the M25 or plodding up and down the M1 to earn a living!

This is the 1st time that the blog has been solely written by a guest writer. Mr Nick Ireland is a part time writer and does do a little magazine work, but after reading this I think he should be doing a little more magazine work! I’ll leave you in his capable hands.

Part 1 - The Begining

The job was an unexpected bonus. I thought my Formula 1 season was over, but I was busy sunning myself in Sicily when I got a text asking if I wanted to do a drive from the circuit at Spa to Monza on my return. I jumped at the chance as August had threatened to be a quiet month, and this was five days work on offer. My normal job is double driving (double manning in normal trucking language!) mostly for the tour trucking companies on music work, but I fill in where possible with a well known Formula 1 team. The team is split into two truck groups, around four on the race team carrying the cars and pit/garage equipment, and the ‘brand centre’, the hospitality centre where guests are entertained on race day, which composes of 15 trucks. I have driven the race team trucks, but am mainly involved in the ‘brand centre’ and have always double driven them. This time however I was to get my own truck! (The Mercedes Actros below, obviously – admin).

As Spa is only a short hop from England we were to be taken out by coach to collect the trucks, so we departed the factory at 08:30 on the Tuesday after the race, and had an uneventful trip to Dover. The trip on P&O’s Pride of Kent was made more bearable as we managed to persuade the steward in the driver’s restaurant that we were truck drivers, by myself producing my bunch of keys, and so we got a subsidised meal! Once on the other side it took a couple of hours to reach the hotel at Leige, pausing at the Belgian border to buy our vignette for the next day, then it was a quick meal and drink and it was bed time.

In the morning we left the hotel at 07:30 and the coach took us to the circuit, pausing briefly to let an oncoming cow pass on the hard shoulder! On route we were handed our truck keys, an itinery and a float. We were given instructions regarding the Toll Collect purchase, but we had already decided to miss Germany and go via Luxembourg. On arrival we headed for our trucks. They had been loaded and parked up after the race by the riggers, and were the only trucks left save for one solitary Red Bull M.A.N. I was driving the central atrium, similar to the truck I normally double drive, but slightly longer, and as I was to find later slightly wider! Once the tacho was in it was a walk round check, and fill in the defect book. I was going to run with three other trucks, all are fitted with private radio similar to CB’s, and we checked in with each other as we became ready to leave as we were scattered over the paddock area. After joining the motorway it wasn’t long before we peeled off, and took to the A Roads heading for Luxembourg. I have done this route before, and not only do you miss the hassle of stopping to get Toll Collect sorted, the scenery is lovely. We did hit a snag though, the A Road was being repaired, so we were diverted onto a B Road, the front truck missing the diversion sign and having to find somewhere to turn round. This road was just wide enough for two trucks to pass, but the locals were not interested in slowing down, probably annoyed at having to be diverted, so it was slow right down, judge where the edge of the road was, and shut your eyes! Amazingly no mirrors were smashed, and as another six of our trucks had followed us off the motorway was had a nice line of cars behind us! Eventually we rejoined the A Road, and this then turned back into motorway so progress quickened. Then without warning the motorway ended, and we were once again diverted into a town with more traffic lights than I have ever seen in one place. The signs for the motorway disappeared, and when they reappeared they were very vague, and it was a bit messy finding our way back onto it, but we made it.

As we rejoined the motorway we heard the four trucks on the radio that had travelled via Germany. They were behind us, so even with our diversion and being held up in the town we had chosen the quicker route. We exited Luxembourg, taking the obligatory route around the customs post (why do you still have to do this?) and once into France it wasn’t long before we stopped for a coffee and ice cream, and to reform our little group. The team like you to travel in twos or a group purely in case of any problems, although it is not obligatory, but I find once a small group start a bit a banter the journey passes much quicker, plus it’s nice to have someone to talk to when you stop for your break. From our coffee stop it was another two hours to our overnight stop at Macon Truckstop. After dieseling up we parked the trucks, drew the curtains, and headed across the road to our hotel-no cabbing it in this game (unless you are in one of the Stobart teams!).

Thursday morning dawned grey and murky, and we left Macon at first light. The fog patched soon gave way to glorious sunshine, and I was looking forward to today, as we were heading for Italy, my favourite country. My brief was to transit the Mont Blanc Tunnel and stop at Aosta, as my truck needed Convoi Exceptionnel signage and lights putting on for Italy as it was 1m too long.

As we headed for the tunnel I remarked to my mate on the radio that I would be happier using the Frejus tunnel, as this load looked wide, and the Blanc is quite narrow. He assured me it would be fine, and they only ever had difficulties in using the tunnel from the Italian side, famous last words! The scenery heading towards Mont Blanc is stunning, and even better in the early morning sun, I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

We pulled into the check point at the bottom of the mountain, where you are measured electronically and have to declare if you have hazardous or a fridge motor running. If you miss this checkpoint incidentally and arrive at the top without a ticket, you are sent all the way to the bottom again to get one. Several other team trucks went straight through, and as I stopped at the booth the conversation went something along these lines:

Clerk: ‘You are too wide’.
Me: ’I take exception to that, how rude!’.
Clerk: ‘You are too long’.
Me: ’Well make your mind up, is it long or wide?’.
Clerk: ‘You are 2.65m, only 2.55 allowed’.
Me: ‘Nope, it’s normal width and length, we have been coming through here for the past 4 years no problem’.
Clerk: ‘Nope, refused, escort at 17:00 (it was now 10:00)’
Me: ‘You are joking? 17:00? That’s taking the p#ss’.
Clerk: ‘Yes, you are convoy exceptionnel so escort at 20:00’.
Me: ‘eh? What is this an auction? You said 17:00’.

And so it went on, for about five minutes actually! Eventually I pulled to one side, and radioed the lead driver who was about 10 minutes behind me, he will sort it I thought………